When my heart breaks open, God comes in.
I wish I spiritually surrendered on my own accord but, often, I have to fall apart first. I’m realizing that it’s a blessing when life brings me to my knees. It humbles me enough to ask for help. Someday, I won’t have to fall to pieces to seek God’s guidance.
I used to think God would solve my problems and instantly heal my heart if I called on Him. I’m learning that, instead, inviting God into my heart just means that He will allow me to experience everything that will help me grow into the person I’m supposed to be.
Time and time again, God has saved me from myself. He saved me from years of self-loathing, which I expressed in many destructive ways. He saved me from the lies I used to tell myself. He saved me from depression and feelings of isolation. He saved me from the fear that I’m not good enough as I am now.
God is love. God is mercy. God is compassion. God is acceptance. When I forget these things, I forget who I am in this crazy world.
Marianne Willamson says it best with, “The perfect you isn’t something you need to create because God already created it. The perfect you is the love within you. Your job is to allow the Holy Spirit to remove the fearful thinking that surrounds your perfect self.”
Even when it hurts– even when I cry, plead, and don’t understand– I’m thankful that God is rebuilding me. I am not a house built on sand anymore… God tore me down and He’s rebuilding me on rock.