I love this season of singleness and everything God is teaching me, but I have moments of panic. I’m still very young (24 in a few months) but there are times when I think… What if I never meet the right person? What if I’m alone forever? It doesn’t help when people say, “Oh, you’re done with college now… When are you going to settle down and get married?”
While I’ve never been in a rush to get down the aisle, I’ve already experienced independence and know I can take care of myself. I’ve spent the past 3 years living alone, paying my own bills, paying off tuition, and supporting myself (other than my cell phone bill– thanks mom and dad!). As much as I love this freedom, my life is about: me, me, me. I come and go when I please. I spend my paychecks on myself. I can do whatever I want… but the deep desire of my heart is to love and serve someone else.
I’ve spent time praying over this anxiety for the past couple of weeks. I don’t think it’s uncommon for singles to feel a bit overwhelmed during the time between graduating college and getting married. The world constantly tells us that we need human love and commitment to be fulfilled. Recently, it hit me… If my priority is to find another person, I will never be satisfied. My satisfaction needs to come from God alone. But what should we do while waiting for God to bring our dreams into fruition? How do we drown out the voices that say we’re not good enough on our own?
What to do While Waiting on God’s Plan
1. Spend time with God. Even if you do find a wonderful partner, there will be times when he or she disappoint you. God’s love never fails. Spending time in the Bible and prayer will give you confidence and peace about His faithfulness.
2. Do what you love. When I do things I love– running, swimming, writing, drawing, taking pictures– I feel God’s pleasure. We’re given passions for a reason and developing these gifts allows God to use us. I think the best use of our lives is serving God with whatever He’s given us. Rather than coveting someone else’s talents, we should invest our energy into discovering and developing our own God-given passions.
3. Invest yourself in others. Carlos Rodriguez says it best in his poem titled I Sought My Soul. “I sought my soul, but my soul I could not see. I sought my God, but my God eluded me. I sought my brother, and I found all three.”
4. Try something new. Get excited about your life! If there’s something you’ve always wanted to try– try it. Don’t wait for someone else to give you permission to be excited about your future. We were created to live and love fully. It is written, “I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10)
5. Don’t compromise. In the past, I’ve entered some relationships out of loneliness and fear. These were not bad men, but we weren’t compatible in faith or morals– two very important things. Through trial and error, I’ve realized what I desire in a partner. I want to marry someone who inspires me and who loves God more than I do. I’m not looking for someone perfect, just someone good for me.
To everyone going through similar circumstances: Whether your season of singleness last several months, or an entire lifetime– don’t forget that God has big plans you!
“Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.”