Someone Who Makes You Stay

I remember how you ended our non-relationship.

You’ll always be special to me, Jaclyn, but some people aren’t made to stay. I wasn’t made to stay. 

Those words remained in my peripheral consciousness long after your departure.

Made to stay. Are only some, not all, of us made to stay? I don’t have the answer. All I know is that to love rightly and to love well, you have to be willing to endure the hard times. You have to stay when it would be easier to leave. 

My grandmother’s progressive Alzheimer’s robbed her of every lovely, recognizable personality trait. Not only has she not known anyone else for years, she hasn’t known herself for just as long. Her body is healthy, but her mind is gone.

My grandfather visits her assisted living home every single day to feed her lunch and dinner. I don’t know what it’s like to have a spouse of 55 years think you’re a stranger, but I imagine it’s the worst way to miss someone… Missing your best friend as they sit next to you and knowing that it’s one-sided loneliness. But he stays. Until the day she dies, he’ll stay.

So when that non-relationship ended, you know what I said.

If I could wish one thing for you, it’s that you eventually find someone who makes you stay. 

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  1. #1 by Lisa C. on September 10, 2011 - 4:26 pm

    “All I know is that to love rightly and to love well, you have to be willing to endure the hard times. You have to stay when it would be easier to leave.” I cried while reading this. I feel it. – Lisa

    • #2 by Jaclyn Rae on September 13, 2011 - 8:07 pm

      Thanks for stopping by Lisa! I can’t wait to check out your blog too :)

  2. #3 by punkpolkadots on September 10, 2011 - 5:13 pm

    Aww J, i read this post and I cried. I needed to. I’ve always wished for happiness and love and good things. But now I have just one wish that will sum of all this up. “I wish you have someone who makes stay.” J, hugs and sunshine your way!
    <3

  3. #5 by shelbyisrad on September 10, 2011 - 6:44 pm

    I wish I could hug you my dear. <3

  4. #7 by bonnie on September 11, 2011 - 9:04 am

    thx for sharing, expressing such raw emotions are never easy

    • #8 by Jaclyn Rae on September 13, 2011 - 8:11 pm

      Thank you Bonnie! I hope life is blowing you lots of kisses today.

  5. #9 by on September 11, 2011 - 11:51 am

    I agree with your readers’ comments above. It takes courage to put that out there. You are a stay girl if I’ve ever seen one. LOSER! Way. To. Go. Jay Ray, Jay Jay. Listen, you know what the say is the best way to get over someone? Turn them into literature.

    x
    Julie

    • #10 by Jaclyn Rae on September 13, 2011 - 8:11 pm

      Haha, I definitely agree with turning people into literature. Love you Julie <3

  6. #11 by Annette on September 11, 2011 - 2:39 pm

    When you meet the right person Jaclyn you both want to stay. I believe this because I’ve watched my parents who are 41 years married tomorrow, they don’t agree on everything but they would never consider life without the other x

    • #12 by Jaclyn Rae on September 13, 2011 - 8:13 pm

      Aww, Annette… You always find a way to encourage me! & congratulations to your parents :)

  7. #13 by Surrey gal on September 12, 2011 - 5:18 am

    One of a truly beautiful posts.

  8. #15 by countingducks on September 12, 2011 - 8:17 am

    Thtats so heartbreaking. Your grandfather’s steadfast loyalty is admirable and heartwarming. What a wretched situation for him. To be unrecognised by his companion and friend of so many years

    • #16 by Jaclyn Rae on September 13, 2011 - 8:16 pm

      It’s sad but, amazingly, it hasn’t hardened his heart at all… He’s a gentle & loving man. When I was young, my grandma used to point to him and say, “Jaclyn, marry a man just like that.”

      • #17 by Missjlouise on September 15, 2011 - 6:25 am

        That is beautiful …

  9. #18 by anup on September 12, 2011 - 4:34 pm

    Lovely post once again by the author! The picture and the topic reminds me of a famous quote by John Shedd: ” A ship in harbor is safe– but that is not what ships are built for.” So, go ahead and remember that God is always there to carry you through tough times :)

  10. #19 by emjayandthem on September 12, 2011 - 4:44 pm

    Yes… to love, to truly love, is to stay when all other signs point to “go.” I don’t mean stay in something unhealthy or volatile, but stay for those moments of sweetness that carry you through the hard times.

    My heart aches for your Grandfather and his story reminds me of my Grandparents. She needed to go to the nursing home but he was fit enough to stay behind. He went with her anyways. His words? “Wherever she goes, I will go.” They were married 74 years. Sweetness.

    MJ

    • #20 by Jaclyn Rae on September 13, 2011 - 8:17 pm

      What a beautiful love story… “Wherever she goes, I will go.” That just melts my heart. <3

  11. #21 by babolnart on September 26, 2011 - 2:34 pm

    Reminds me of the movie “The Notebook”

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