I Write To Hear My Own Voice

I write to hear my own voice.

When I neglect to write, I get lost in my life. It’s like I need every thought to stretch out its roots to find where my heart is grounded.

I write when I question my purpose… When fear creeps in and paralyzes my creativity. When I wonder if God forgot about me.

I write to thank God for the trials… When I realize that I was not forgotten and that, really, trials are some of the most formative blessings I’ve been granted.

I write to find significance in the things that everyday life offers me… When I realize that every life has to be a testimony to something truly personal and beautiful.

I write to protect the memories worth keeping safe. The way it feels to discover a new path. The way it feels to pour life into something without asking for a reward. The way it feels to dance and swim in the grace of God.

I write because I must.

I must write about the things I love, the things I find, and the things I lose. I must write about the beauty in breaking. I must write about the most sincere and honest parts of my story. 

I write to hear my own voice.

photo credit to shannon blue

& I Am Learning…

You cannot save people.

You can only love them.

Don’t Threaten Me With Love, Baby. Let’s Just Go Walking In The Rain.

“The world is mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful.”

- E.E. Cummings

There Are Only So Many Tomorrows

I don’t know where God is calling me and that scares me.

I’ve spent the past 4 months applying for jobs because my current position isn’t full-time. Doors keep closing and I’m starting to lose confidence and enthusiasm. I’m also beginning to wonder whether I even want the doors I’ve been knocking on to open. My prayer journal is littered with entries that say, “God, please use me.”  But, for now, I’m still waiting for clarity and answers.

I love working with children and have always wanted to volunteer in an orphanage. After graduating recently, I applied to be a caregiver at an orphanage in Latin America for 13 months. My application was denied due to a lack of Spanish fluency. I took that as my sign to start looking for a 9 to 5 corporate job and that’s what I’ve been doing.

But, I’ve realized that I can’t just let my passion go. The deep longing in my heart is to serve people and I believe God gave me that desire for a reason. I don’t really care that I’ve already been rejected, or that people are pressuring me to establish a professional career, or that I’d have to give up comforts to volunteer for a year. I just want to do something simple and beautiful with my life.

This is where I’m at: unsure of my purpose and unsure of how to move forward. If any of you wonderful people have advice or know of a program I should look into, I’d love to hear from you. I hope you’re all doing well and walking in love today.

Take Me Away. I Need the Sand & the Waves.

photos reblogged via weheartit

Everything Has Rhythm. Everything Dances.

PHOTOS REBLOGGED VIA BALLERINA PROJECT

The Waiting Place

The Waiting Place…

…for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

–Dr.Suess

Thankful for the Little Things

I’m doing a 30-day “growing in gratitude” challenge with my lovely blog friend, V. Today we read Ephesians 5:15-21 and completed a writing prompt on being thankful for the “little things” God blesses us with.

“Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything…”

– Ephesians 5:19-20

I highly encourage you to try this gratitude challenge (http://www.reviveourhearts.com/pdf/30DayGratitude.pdf) and ask a friend to do it with you. It will do great things for your heart, I promise.

Reading Ephesians 5 reminded me of one of my favorite tumblr sites: http://just-littlethings.tumblr.com. This site lists the simple things in life that we should appreciate. Here are some of my favorites:

 

What are the simple things that make you happy?

Greet the World with a Smile

What Would You Do If You Knew You Couldn’t Fail?

I’ve decided to make a list of things I would do if I knew I couldn’t fail. One-by-one, I’m going to do every single thing on that list. Why, you ask? Because, while running at the gym this morning, I wondered if my 10 year-old self would like the person I’ve become. When I was 10, I carried a sketchbook and art supplies around with me. I changed my clothes multiple times a day because I wanted to wear whatever color I was feeling. People predicted I’d be an artist.

I’m not sure how that little girl would feel if she knew those dreams would result in a business degree and a sales job. While I have a fabulous life, I wonder how many decisions I’ve made for other people and how many I’ve made for myself. I wonder how many I will continue to make for others. I wonder how many times I’ve used my head to make decisions, when I should have used my heart.

People are rooting for me to play it safe. They want me to live in a sheltered, delicate world– to create days filled with dial tones and loans and plastic and alarm systems and diamonds and security. I’m terrified at the thought. Why can’t I just want something simple and beautiful? Maybe I don’t want a world of credit card debt and fighting to get to the top so I can live in Suburbia. Maybe I want to wake up everyday to fill my lungs with creativity and drink sunshine for breakfast.

Several years ago, I slept under a cardboard box in the rain in a city park. Though I was one of many participating in a plea for our government to intervene in the war in Uganda, my parents encouraged me not to go because “it’s too dangerous to sleep in city parks.” That moment made me realize living a “safe“ life will suffocate me. Leading a life of conformity, conservation, and safety may seem like the right choice on the surface but, if it’s not who you are at your very core, it will do nothing more than damage your spirit.

I just graduated from college a few months ago and the possibilities are endless. If I’m being completely honest… I’m terrified right now. I’m scared to leave and I’m scared to stay. I have a job that pays the bills until I figure out my next step, but I know that I’ve learned what I needed to learn here and I need to move on. But where? Do I stay here or do I move? Do I go to graduate school or join the working world? Do I listen to everyone’s opinions or listen to my heart?

I think too many of us spend our lives hibernating. We drive our cars to the office, work all day, come home, watch tv and go to bed… Just to do it all over again tomorrow. Too many lives are void of any real pleasure. I may not know where to go, what to do, or if I’ll be doing it alone… But, when I picture how I want my life to end up, I see creativity blossoming like a flower that bends toward the sun. I see an endlessly changing horizon and splendid things. I’m not sure how I’ll get there, but I will. I’m starting with this list.

Alright, lovely blog friends– your turn. Would your 10 year-old self like the person you’ve become? What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?