Someday I’ll Get It Right

This is the longest I’ve been single in 6 years and sometimes it’s lonely. At times, I worry that I’m missing out, or passing up too many people, or that I’ll end up alone forever. I can’t compare myself to other people’s relationships or even my past relationships anymore though… I’m on a different path.

My Previous Formula for Relationships:

1. Find the right person

2. Fall in love. Determine everything by how I feel.

3. Put all my hopes and dreams on that person

4. When it doesn’t work, assume I have the wrong person and start the process over with someone else.

My New Formula for Relationships:

1. Focus on becoming the right person

2. Walk in love and compassion for everyone.

3. Set my hopes and dreams on God, knowing that human relationships can’t fulfill me or make me whole. Only God can.

4. If that doesn’t work, start again at step 1– becoming the kind of woman God wants me to be. I know that He will make me into the perfect match for my future husband.

I’m clinging to hope and trying to keep my heart open to possibilities. I’m fighting the fear and doubt that try to take residence in the corner of my mind. Someday, I’ll give my heart to someone who wants the same things I do. Someday, I’ll know that all this waiting was worth it. Someday, I’ll get this right. 

 

 
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  1. #1 by Pammy Girl on April 21, 2011 - 5:21 pm

    When you get it right, share the formula. All my relationships end in a blaze of glory… I’ve made some craptastic choices with my dating partners. Didn’t help that my self-esteem was in the toilet. Keep trying, I guess, and trying to figure it out.

    • #2 by Heather on April 22, 2011 - 3:22 am

      May I just say that I love the word “craptastic” and your use of it was fabulous. Thank you for making my day! -smiles inwardly-

      It will get better, just keep believing.

      • #3 by Jaclyn Rae on April 22, 2011 - 10:22 am

        I agree. Well played, Pammy Girl! :)

  2. #4 by Jacqueline DeWylde on April 21, 2011 - 7:50 pm

    My New Formula for Relationships:

    1. Focus on becoming the right person Realize that I am already the right person for the one God has for me. All I have to do is be honest with myself and others about who I really am.

    Because you ARE already the right person and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. *HUGS* You can believe this because I would never ever lie to you. :)

    • #5 by Jaclyn Rae on April 22, 2011 - 10:23 am

      Thanks Jacqueline. I know you would never lie to me :)

  3. #6 by scrambled7 on April 22, 2011 - 2:56 am

    You really shoudn’t try changing into the right person. Cause that just wouldn’t be you. Be yourself and someone will find you. :)

  4. #8 by Heather on April 22, 2011 - 3:11 am

  5. #10 by Matthew on April 22, 2011 - 5:35 am

    Don’t think I could have put this better myself.

    As cliche’ as it may sound, we spend so much time trying to find the “right” person when we should really concentrate on finding the “right” us. From there, once you have done that, this person just suddenly appears and/or finds you.

    Lightning in a bottle. You don’t know how it got there, it just is.

    A lot of people spend time trying to find another who can complete them when they should find someone who compliments them.

    I’ve spent much more time in my life being single than in a relationship. It gets damn lonely. But it has given me time to find the guy I know I want to be. I believe I have a pretty good grasp in that regard so now I just have to have faith that there is a woman out there who will fully embrace it.

    • #11 by emjayandthem on April 22, 2011 - 9:43 am

      Amen Matthew! Very well put :) MJ

    • #12 by Jaclyn Rae on April 22, 2011 - 10:25 am

      Thanks for the comment, Matthew!

      “A lot of people spend time trying to find another who can complete them when they should find someone who compliments them.”

      You’re brilliant. :)

  6. #13 by AND ANOTHER THING on April 22, 2011 - 6:22 am

    I must say I’ve been through a number of second rate relationships but through more luck than judgement I met someone who is my best friend. There is a sense of comming home. Now I’m here i realise there is no second best. Everything seems more still and peaceful in my heart and mind. It’s a prize worth waiting for.

    • #14 by Jaclyn Rae on April 22, 2011 - 10:26 am

      I’m glad you found it. That gives me hope. <3

  7. #15 by youngromantic on April 22, 2011 - 7:56 am

    We’ll get it right together! <3 I'm in the same boat as you! Just keep being your lovely, beautiful, inspiring self and leave it in God's hands! <3

    • #16 by Jaclyn Rae on April 22, 2011 - 10:27 am

      Thank you, thank you, thank you. <3 <3 <3

      Yes, we will get it right together!

  8. #17 by Carol on April 23, 2011 - 1:15 am

    “Set my hopes and dreams on God, knowing that human relationships can’t fulfill me or make me whole. Only God can”.

    SO TRUE!! Jaclyn, you have the most beautiful heart. I know, that Jesus has that amazing Godly husband for you. He just wants you to keep trusting in Him and wait. I also have been single for almost 6 years now, and yes, it does get lonely. But never sad. That unconditional love that ONLY comes from Jesus is already in our hearts. So we know, that no one can love us that way. You are such a treasure. God just keeps molding you and shaping you to be that Godly woman He wants you to be. Do not settle for anyone that isn’t from Jesus. Praying for you my sweet sister :)

  9. #18 by allaboutenglishschool on May 17, 2012 - 4:56 pm

    I stumbled upon your blog.. wow! This is me for several years until I met the guy who loves God more than he loves me. I am 28 and had been to only one brief relationship in college. I’ve decided long before to wait and the waiting was lonely, frustrating and sometimes endless. I see people getting married and building their families as most people start early in my culture. I was anxious and envious. I pleaded with God in different seasons of my life to give me the right man but God was silent. He was silent for a long time. My faith wavered because I couldn’t see God’s presence in my life. I became distant. One day, I just got tired, so tired that I surrendered to Him. I realized that my understanding is so little compared to His. I understood that I would never know what He wants for me until He shows me. I would never know His plans for my life until He reveals it to me in His terms and in His time. Like you, I made a list of the man I was praying for. I focused on becoming the person I am looking for is looking for. And I read my Bible everyday reflecting on the verses. It occupied so much of my time. It’s glorious! I never felt I could be happy and peaceful at heart even without someone. I rediscovered my faith and consciously tried my best to have a closer, more personal relationship with God everyday until the need for the desire for a man shrunk. I was content being with God.. When I stopped looking, when I was not waiting, God sent a good Christian man my way not to complete me but to complement me. He is not perfect but he is just right for me. In times when I doubt and question what God’s will for my life, I just surrender to the fact that I don’t have to know all the answers what, when and how. I just have to put my faith that He knows the best for me. Faith is the confidence that whatever God’s answer may be, it is what’s best for us. Keep the faith! I am so happy to know that there are women like you out there. “God works for the good of those who love Him.” You will be in my prayer today from the Philippines!

  10. #19 by allaboutenglishschool on May 17, 2012 - 4:59 pm

    I stumbled upon your blog.. wow! This is me for several years until I met the guy who loves God more than he loves me. I am 28 and had been to only one brief relationship in college. I’ve decided long before to wait and the waiting was lonely, frustrating and sometimes endless. I see people getting married and building their families as most people start early in my culture. I was anxious and envious. I pleaded with God in different seasons of my life to give me the right man but God was silent. He was silent for a long time. My faith wavered because I couldn’t see God’s presence in my life. I became distant. One day, I just got tired, so tired that I surrendered to Him. I realized that my understanding is so little compared to His. I understood that I would never know what He wants for me until He shows me. I would never know His plans for my life until He reveals it to me in His terms and in His time. Like you, I made a list of the man I was praying for. I focused on becoming the person I am looking for is looking for. And I read my Bible everyday reflecting on the verses. It occupied so much of my time. It’s glorious! I never felt I could be happy and peaceful at heart even without someone. I rediscovered my faith and consciously tried my best to have a closer, more personal relationship with God everyday until the need for the desire for a man shrunk. I was content being with God.. When I stopped looking, when I was not waiting, God sent a good Christian man my way not to complete me but to complement me. He is not perfect but he is just right for me. In times when I doubt and question what God’s will for my life, I just surrender to the fact that I don’t have to know all the answers what, when and how. “I know that He knows and it is His knowing that overwhelms me” (as Anne Rice puts it). I just have to put my faith that He knows the best for me. Faith is the confidence that whatever God’s answer may be, it is what’s best for us. I am so happy to know that there are women like you out there. “God works for the good of those who love Him.” You will be in my prayer today from the Philippines! Keep the faith!

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