There Are Only So Many Tomorrows

I don’t know where God is calling me and that scares me.

I’ve spent the past 4 months applying for jobs because my current position isn’t full-time. Doors keep closing and I’m starting to lose confidence and enthusiasm. I’m also beginning to wonder whether I even want the doors I’ve been knocking on to open. My prayer journal is littered with entries that say, “God, please use me.”  But, for now, I’m still waiting for clarity and answers.

I love working with children and have always wanted to volunteer in an orphanage. After graduating recently, I applied to be a caregiver at an orphanage in Latin America for 13 months. My application was denied due to a lack of Spanish fluency. I took that as my sign to start looking for a 9 to 5 corporate job and that’s what I’ve been doing.

But, I’ve realized that I can’t just let my passion go. The deep longing in my heart is to serve people and I believe God gave me that desire for a reason. I don’t really care that I’ve already been rejected, or that people are pressuring me to establish a professional career, or that I’d have to give up comforts to volunteer for a year. I just want to do something simple and beautiful with my life.

This is where I’m at: unsure of my purpose and unsure of how to move forward. If any of you wonderful people have advice or know of a program I should look into, I’d love to hear from you. I hope you’re all doing well and walking in love today.

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11 thoughts on “There Are Only So Many Tomorrows

  1. I don’t have any idea about programs or even how to figure out what the plan is cause i don’t even know what I’m doing BUT I can pray for you dear, and I will do so right now. <3 Keep spreading sunshine but also remember its okay to be sad, confused, and frustrated! Love you sweet girl!

  2. Thank you for all the feedback.

    A few hours after posting this, I was invited to fly to the midwest on Monday for a final interview. I’m extremely excited/anxious/nervous right now. It’s not brave if you’re not scared though, right?

    I’ll let you all know how it goes! :)

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