To Love

I can’t find words that do Him justice. Instead, I’ll keep this to a few disjointed thoughts and pray that if God knocks on your door this week, you’ll answer. Thank you, as always, for reading and being part of my journey. 

You were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. 
- Galatians 5:13

God changed my world this year. He changed me.

Last year I struggled through the Christmas season. Fresh out of college and fresh out of a break-up, anxiety and loneliness were my winter companions.

As I get ready for the holidays again this year, I realize I’m still alone and still unsure of my future…

But I’m not lonely.

It says in Revelations 3:20, “I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in…” And because God is the ultimate gentleman, he knocked and waited patiently outside my door for a long time.

I finally answered. I’m glad He thought I was worth the wait.

At this time last year I would have guessed that I’d be in another serious relationship by now. Instead, my heart is longing for a different kind of companionship…

To love people who cannot love me back.

I want to love someone who will never thank me. I want to be a giver, not a taker. I want God to humble my heart until it won’t be satisfied with anything other than Him. I want God to transform my selfish heart into one that serves Him every day.

And if I do that, if I keep  pursuing Him, I know that even if I spend every holiday for the rest of my life alone…

My heart will be happy. My heart will be so happy.

Merry Christmas, beautiful friends. May you walk with joy in your spirit and peace in your heart, today and always. ♥

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13 thoughts on “To Love

  1. Oh Jaclyn, sweet Jaclyn. Your vision of love is amazing! Most people, myself included, normally think of love as just take, take, take, wanting the perfect guy, wanting to fall in love. But, I love your loving heart. Beautiful, darling, beautiful.

    You have encouraged me so much in my own walk, especially on the romance side of things. Let’s just say, my prediction was right. Watching my best friend fall in love has turned me into a hopeles romantic. I stay up way too late reading quotes on love, listening to songs that make me cry (have you heard Eighteen Inches by Lauren Alaina? Aaamazzing!!), watching romantic proposals on YouTube, and daydreaming about my own someday. But, when I read your blog, it encourages me so much, and sometimes, I’ll just go through and read some of your past blog posts. They make me happy. :)

  2. When you write I see me as you as a young girl! If you were visiting me here now, I’d make you a tea and then walk you out to my garage, open a box and show you 10 filled journals not so far from your post above. I wish I could give you the words you need to know that this is all okay. God loves you so so very much. You shine. You really do.

    These words are brief and fleeting. I know that too because words are like that. But the thought is there that backs them.

    When you find the returned love, he is going to be on the ground saying thank you for choosing him and letting your heart love. That’s when YOU are ready. You will look back at this post and understand why. And you will be the exact same lovely girl as you are today, loving God, serving him and shining.

    Merry Christmas. Thank you for writing.


  3. Merry Christmas, Jaclyn Rae ♥. Thank you for sharing your beautiful heart on your blog. I know how amazing it feels to look back and see the ways God has changed your heart, because He’s done so much in my own heart the last few years. It is His promise that He will give us a new heart and spirit, and He really, truly does. It’s a beautiful journey and adventure with Him. Wishing you a blessed Christmas and New Year.

  4. Merry Christmas Jaclyn Rae! Wishing you all the best God has to offer you in this joyful, peaceful season.

    I was sitting here, feeling sorry for myself that I’m spending another Christmas single with no prospects on the horizon and a few unsuccessful dates this past week and I could’ve stayed at that place, but then God reminded me how jealously He wants my heart and how–in this season of being single–I’m learning to be FULLY dependent on HIM alone … for my happiness, my security, my identity … everything that I would normally seek to find in a man.

    And then I read your blog and was encouraged just a little bit more! :)

  5. You got it girl! You are a true inspiration, and woman after God’s own heart, and I love love love it.
    Do you like Misty Edwards?!

    Merry Christmas, and thank you for blessing us with your blog!!!

  6. I keep coming back to this, because I am SO GLAD you know this at such a young age, honestly, it is a life changer for you. You will go into another relationship/ or marriage and you will know that even in that, God will be your only ALL IN ALL. There are women that NEVER get this. Ever.

  7. Wuaw! Your story inspires me a lot! “love people who cannot loves us back”! A real purpose of live! Discover people like you help me to re-discover my own faith. Thanks for your great and beautiful blog (and excuse my spelling, I’m not very proficient in english… yet)

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